i have forever struggled with my body image... since about 5th grade. my first year of college i was in the best shape of my life (size 6 sometimes even a 4) and i thought i was fat. to make matters worse i thought everyone else thought i was fat too, and wouldn't like me because of it. with each pregnancy i've just gotten bigger and bigger. hating myself more each time, but not feeling like there's anything i could do about it. i love to workout and i workout hard. i've run 1/2 marathons and done resistance training and never lost more than a couple pounds. i would blame it on the food that i just can't resist. the tuesday after my birthday my life changed. i want to share it with everyone for a couple reasons. someday when my daughters read this (i hope to have my blog printed into a book) i want them to understand that being a girl in this world can be hard, but their not alone. i hope and pray they each love their bodies, but just in case one of them struggles like i did i need them to know i understand and they're not alone. next, i know i'm not the only one who has felt this way, so if i can help just one of you then it's all worth it!!! also, this will be a big part of my life so i feel like i should document it. and just to be clear...this isn't about "looking hot". don't get me wrong that's definitely and added bonus, but my real quest is to have a healthy body and to be comfortable in my own skin. to have my body match how i feel on the inside. (2 years ago i had my cholesterol tested and it came back on the cutoff line between normal and high.)
on march 9th i started a program called Live the Life by KristiApproved.com. i'm not going to go into the details of the program because it's a lot of information, but basically the program tells you exactly what to eat, when to eat it and has a detailed workout schedule. i have been eating so healthy and doing awesome workouts that have a specific purpose. i've lost 7.5 pounds, .5 inches in my waist, and 1 inch in my hips. besides the physical changes, the mental and emotional changes have surprised me even more. i have so much more energy. i'm happier. and the most amazing thing is i now know I DESERVE IT!!! i used to go to bed every night feeling guilty and angry at myself for not having more self control. now i go to bed every night so proud of myself! i 100% turn to sweets when i'm stressed. i already knew that before, but it became so obvious this past week. i had stuck to my eating plan perfectly until last wednesday. that day we were waiting to find out if derek got a job he interviewed for, which is a great job, but means we would be moving again... it was a very stressful day and i cheated and ate treats. the rest of the whole week was stressful and it was a rough week for me and my food plan. i gained .4 lbs. i now have a plan to deal with my stress differently. i realized that i would justify eating crappy because "i was stressed". but really... life is stressful. if i justify eating unhealthy because i'm stressed i will end up weighing 500 pounds!! ha ha
so the initial program is 12 weeks long. i am currently on week 5 and i will post before and after pictures after the 12 weeks is over.