i deserve it

i have forever struggled with my body image... since about 5th grade.  my first year of college i was in the best shape of my life (size 6 sometimes even a 4) and i thought i was fat.  to make matters worse i thought everyone else thought i was fat too, and wouldn't like me because of it.  with each pregnancy i've just gotten bigger and bigger.  hating myself more each time, but not feeling like there's anything i could do about it.  i love to workout and i workout hard.  i've run 1/2 marathons and done resistance training and never lost more than a couple pounds.  i would blame it on the food that i just can't resist.  the tuesday after my birthday my life changed.  i want to share it with everyone for a couple reasons.  someday when my daughters read this (i hope to have my blog printed into a book) i want them to understand that being a girl in this world can be hard, but their not alone.  i hope and pray they each love their bodies, but just in case one of them struggles like i did i need them to know i understand and they're not alone.  next, i know i'm not the only one who has felt this way, so if i can help just one of you then it's all worth it!!!  also, this will be a big part of my life so i feel like i should document it.  and just to be clear...this isn't about "looking hot".  don't get me wrong that's definitely and added bonus, but my real quest is to have a healthy body and to be comfortable in my own skin.  to have my body match how i feel on the inside.  (2 years ago i had my cholesterol tested and it came back on the cutoff line between normal and high.)

on march 9th i started a program called Live the Life by KristiApproved.com.  i'm not going to go into the details of the program because it's a lot of information, but basically the program tells you exactly what to eat, when to eat it and has a detailed workout schedule.  i have been eating so healthy and doing awesome workouts that have a specific purpose.  i've lost 7.5 pounds, .5 inches in my waist, and 1 inch in my hips.  besides the physical changes, the mental and emotional changes have surprised me even more.  i have so much more energy.  i'm happier.  and the most amazing thing is i now know I DESERVE IT!!!  i used to go to bed every night feeling guilty and angry at myself for not having more self control.  now i go to bed every night so proud of myself!  i 100% turn to sweets when i'm stressed.  i already knew that before, but it became so obvious this past week.  i had stuck to my eating plan perfectly until last wednesday.  that day we were waiting to find out if derek got a job he interviewed for, which is a great job, but means we would be moving again... it was a very stressful day and i cheated and ate treats.  the rest of the whole week was stressful and it was a rough week for me and my food plan.  i gained .4 lbs.  i now have a plan to deal with my stress differently.  i realized that i would justify eating crappy because "i was stressed".  but really... life is stressful.  if i justify eating unhealthy because i'm stressed i will end up weighing 500 pounds!! ha ha


so the initial program is 12 weeks long.  i am currently on week 5 and i will post before and after pictures after the 12 weeks is over.  

Angie's 30th Birthday

first derek said there were no plans for my birthday.  my birthday happened to be on a sunday, so derek told me he was going to make dinner and that's about it.  then he said we were going to st. george.  then he surprised me and said he was dropping me off in vegas to stay with my sister for the weekend!  so we go to vegas on friday and go to the district, where i'm supposed to be meeting up with my sister, and who's there???  NOT MY SISTER, BUT 2 OF MY "BFFs"!!!  Allie and Shauna (we met during law school) both left their families behind to come spend the weekend with me.  it was so amazing to me that they would do that!!  the whole weekend was a blast... the best birthday ever.  on friday i kept realizing who i was with and it would surprise me all over!! 

"what the heck are you doing here?!?"

 

kevin drove down from st. george to pick up derek and the girls so we would have a car in vegas.  so after kevin, derek, and the girls took off we went to see "Alice In Wonderland".  before the movie we hit up a photo booth.  seriously, i have never laughed so hard.  i need to scan the pictures and post them, but really... they might not seem that funny to anyone else!  the whole weekend we just acted like we were in jr. high!!!  anyway, after the movie we went to eat at PF Changs and then we went to the hotel.  (my awesome bro-in-law got our room comped so... THANKS SPENCER!)  allie was a bit tired from the time change and stuff so she fell asleep first!  she was all paranoid that we were going to do something to her!! the idea hadn't even crossed our minds until she said something!!

so... shauna got her hand wet and flicked water at allie!!  allie looked up from under the covers and asked, "who brought a water gun?"  obviously i was behind the camera, but i was laughing so hard i could barely take the picture!  shauna mentioned freezing allie's bra, but come to find out allie was paranoid we really would, and she hid it! ha ha

after tormenting allie we busted out the shower cap!  GOOD TIMES!  shauna left the room so i put the shower cap on and when she came around the corner and saw me she fell on the floor laughing!!  SO STUPID AND FUNNY!

 

one thing that i really miss is running with these ladies.  they would wake up at the crack of dawn to run before husbands and kids were up and at it.  luckily we all brought our (matching) running clothes (not on purpose) so saturday morning we ran together.  it was awesome!

 

the running pics are kinda scary so i had to show the "after" pictures!! 

after getting  ready our first stop was Trader Joe's! then we had to go to Golden Spoon, at 11am!!  then we went to target and bought some cute earrings.  then we headed on over to Cafe Rio!  Yes, this trip was a lot about where we wanted to eat!!

 

we should be in an advertisement!

after lunch we headed over to one of my other friend's bridal shower.  it was great seeing a lot of people i haven't see for awhile... and i'm excited for the wedding!! 





after the shower we headed down to the strip.  we decided to park at the bellagio and walk down to the venetian. while driving we made a list of things we wanted to find, for example, people in costume.  we found tons of those!!  shauna looks perplexed, but really she's just a good actress... notice the silver man in the background?!?  he want $ for a picture, so we had to get creative!

 

at the bellagio we checked out the beautiful botanical garden.

 

then we went and saw the Richard MacDonald gallery.  if i had 10 grand to burn i would buy one of his sculptures... they are amazing.

we had to admire the ceiling in the lobby! 

we tried to watch the fountains, but we didn't have very good timing.  we did catch it one time, but then a guy with a golf ball size chunk of chewing tobacco in his mouth starting hitting on shauna so we took off!!

 

when we got to the venetian we just happened to come across Madame Tussauds wax museum.  none of us had ever been so we decided to go spur of the moment.  this is where the 13 year olds in us came out!!  we had a blast taking pics with the "celebrities"!!!

ben affleck didn't look to hot, but this pic of allie is awesome!!!

 

shauna was trying to help britney be a bit more appropriate!

 

this is fair warning to our husbands...

 

this pic cracks me up... ( http://eversfamilyscoop.blogspot.com/2010/02/mean-spiderman.html )

best part of the tour!  i <3 johnny!

after the wax museum we walked to the blue man group box office.  we wanted to see a show, but the price needed to be right!  we ended up getting GREAT seats for the cheaper price!  THANKS ALLIE!!!

after getting our tickets we had just enough time to walk to the forum shops to eat dinner at the cheesecake factory.  allie ordered the edamame appitizer.  i'd never heard of it, but LOVED it!

 

we finished eating and walked back to the blue man group theater.  it was such perfect timing.  seriously, we didn't really have a plan when the day started, but everything worked out perfectly!  i'd seen BMG before, but i love it and i was really excited to see it again.  shauna and allie hadn't see it before so they just had to trust me!  it's so random, but i think we all had a great time!  shauna was wishing there was a "clean" place to go dancing... we got in a little bit during the show!  ;)

waiting for the show to start... the anticipation was killing us!

after the show... got to see it to understand the white paper! 

after the show the BMG guys came out to the lobby, so we got pictures AND a big fat...

 

KISS!!!

 

the BMG music is great, so we got a picture with some of the band!

after the show we headed back to the car.  i haven't mentioned out perfect the weather was.  it was PERFECT... until we started walking to the car.  it started sprinkling/raining.  so we got to the car and stopped at BJs on our way to the hotel.  we went to BJs so we could have a pizzookie for dessert.  DELICIOUS... that's all i can say about it!  while we in the restaurant it started POURING RAIN!  like i said... things worked out so perfectly for us!  anyway, after dessert we went to the hotel.  we stayed up for a couple hours talking.  the next morning we had to get up, get ready, and i had to take allie and shauna to the airport.  *tear* i totally cried... i miss these girls a lot.  they were my life line during law school.
i was dreading turning 30, but this weekend has a great way to kick off another year!  THANK YOU ALLIE AND SHAUNA (AND OF COURSE DEREK)!!


so after the airport i headed up to st. george to pick up derek and my girls.  derek's parents made a fabulous dinner and everyone came over for dinner.  kevin made me a texas sheet cake (MY FAVORITE!) so... i had 2 peices!  then we drove home.  it really might be my favorite birthday ever!